Beyond true love

My father carrying my son Noel or my first love carrying my current love. I was busy working in  Liege office, when Nandu shared this pic through whatsapp. Thanks to technology even though far from them I could be part of this light moment. The snap kindled mixed emotions in me and past ran through my mind as if in a movie screen. The same shoulders which carried me once, even though now weak due to old age is not reluctant to carry my baby son. I always feel lucky when I  hear my colleagues or relatives complain of raising kids. Appa, Amma voluntarily took up babysitting. 

Appa, born and brought up as a Christian pastor's son lives it up every moment. My grand mother had once told, he is best among her 7 children. Once admired as a son, brother, father, uncle, friend and now as a grand father, not much as a spouse- hehe! Wonder if world has a cent percent happy wife including myself, if yes she is a good actress(pondering if I'm one already. Fingers crossed for the moment Neeraj will read this). My aunt reiterates to me the day Aathy was born. She took her from nurse and brought to show Appa who was waiting outside. She, a mother of 2 boys, hesitantly told 'Sam, the second is also a girl'. 'Your father's face lite up with happiness and he thanked God for another girl' she added. Never felt my parents worry over the fact they have girls. I wonder when my friends complain how their parents differently treated them and brothers. I couldn't believe when one of my friends said her father wasn't ready to spent on education and relied on educational loans which she paid off later. Appa Amma happily and proudly told everyone daughters are their greatest investment.

One among best lessons I  got from Appa is golden rule of silence to save relationships. I have grown up seeing him zipping lips, remaining calm against provocations. While searching for a groom for me, first factor he will look at was family background and character. Educational qualification and job occurred only as secondary thoughts to him. He never bothered to ask income. Recollecting a conversation between me and him. Me: 'Appa, what is this so and so guy working as, where did he study'. Appa: 'Mole, you find out while talking to him but keep in mind peace is all you need for a happy life'.  Me: 'Appa I'm not asking for his income, but money is also required for peace' Appa: 'No mole, never rely on money. Its love and patience alone that brings in peace'. Appa, Amma mercilessly rejected all families who were looking for dowry, inquiring for my skin color and finally chose Neeraj. While browsing through groom's profiles at a marriage bureau, Neeraj's profile attracted them. The very next was that of Neeraj's twin brother Sooraj. When Amma suggested to choose, Appa preferred Neeraj. Neeraj came along with Pappa and Amma to visit us. I was impressed during the 'allowed' 15 minutes of private conversation. While returning, Pappa had a real tough time reversing his favorite Ambassador, which he seldom gave to anyone including his own sons. Appa was impressed by the way Neeraj patiently helped his father. Amma felt I shared a good chemistry with Neeraj. However it took another 1.5 years for both the families to decide that we are destined to each other. During initial days of  engagement when Neeraj told he was attracted to my eyes, hair and dark complexion, my happiness knew no bounds and I realized Appa's choice was right.

Appa Amma stood by me during toughest time of life. Two days before 2012 Christmas, myself and Neeraj was coming out of PICU of CMC Vellore hospital after listening to Dr. Abhor. Dr. Abhor  was in-charge due to PICU head Dr. Kala's leave. He declared 3 months old Noel as highly critical due to prolonged ICU stay induced infection. Noel was happy when I took over him from Neeraj in the morning, was smiling in my arms, but soon started showing suffocating symptoms and his monitor started alarming more frequently. Only junior doctors were around, it being Sunday. I had to work with a very cooperative nurse to find out treatment methods Kala Mam had tried and make the junior Doctor focus. I lost my cool by afternoon and asked Neeraj to rush back to PICU. Finally Dr. Abhor turned up and decided to ventilate Noel. Outside PICU I met Appa who was carrying a box full of medical equipment and medicines. Holding back tears, fears I asked him 'Appa, are these to keep Ambu alive?'. He strong man of faith responded calmly 'We will try our best'. Dr. Kala, Appa and Amma the 3 pillars who held us from falling into depression and helped successfully fight the battle for seven long months to win our first born.  Amma feels Noel came home due to their dedication and faith more than ours. Without their cooperation and Neeraj's sacrifice, I would have lost my job. Neeraj had to choose between promising career in Chennai, weak wife and premature new born son. He strongly stood by me against pressures from his and my kin to return to Chennai. During those difficult days once again I realized Appa's decision about Neeraj was gracefully right.

The enthusiasm Appa and Amma show towards their grand children is no less than what they had for me and Aathy. As a child and teenager I saw Appa wake up early and go for a morning walk cum buying milk trip. As a mother I see him doing the same for my son. During weekends when we loved to remain in bed, Appa will come to wake us up, make us pray and push us to play shuttlecock badminton. Same way he come searching for Noel who will be already awake and working on various ways to wake Neeraj up. Neeraj would have slept just 2 or 3 hours back after spending a sleepless playful night with Noel. Neeraj used to think he should wear a pardah or helmet to sleep so as to keep Noel away. Really he deserves an award for remaining awake after a hectic day in office. Noel is Pappa's boy when Neeraj is around and all the other times grand fathers boy. 

Thinking out loud in early thirties, God exists..true love exists. My family, my group of angels, this part of me is .......happiness.