Almost 18 years back, a
summer evening at my parents’ home in Trivandrum. As usual load shedding was
scheduled by Kerala government. Amma and Aathy, then shopping freaks had gone
out leaving me to prepare for SSLC exam under Appa's monitoring. It was getting
dark making Appa's gentle mind torn between concerns for his better half and
daughter on outing and me who is studying. We did not have a vehicle then. Appa
decided to go to the junction and wait for ladies. He many times checked with
me if I will sit alone, ensured emergency lamp is connected properly and gave
me a lecture of where the candles are incase lamp failed. It being Monday, we
were not sure about the power cut timing. Even though I agreed, he being fully
aware of my fears of darkness and loneliness, halfheartedly stepped out. He
might not have gone very far when power was cut, emergency lamp ditched, me and
Charachira doomed in darkness. I followed my instant instinct to run and open
the front door. It was pitch dark outside too. Fighting back the fears within
me, suddenly I noticed torch lights flashing at a distance, my father was
running back as fast as he could, yelling as he got nearer, "Sumi I am
here...".Yes I am a lucky daughter. Appa, Amma always showed their bold
side when allowing their daughters to chase dreams, be it dream job or dream
man. We are today who we are just because of their faith, dedication, hard
work, boldness and selfless love.
9 years later on a Sunday
evening, was in a shared apartment in Velachery, Chennai. I had then recently
shifted to Chennai from Mumbai. Mumbai life made me think am much
stronger and independent. None of my roomies where home and I was immersed in
reading .Net notes when suddenly due to unknown reasons power went off. I realized
the girl in me hadn't grown so much, realized am still Appa Amma's little girl. Nokia mobile lights did not help much. I followed the same old
instinct to open the front door and went to the terrace only to be in pitch
darkness. I could see one or two in adjacent terraces and this brought more discomfort. I knew Appa is too far to run for help, thinking I'm safe in Chennai. To
divert mind from fears, I dialed a friend in Hyderabad. He laughed at me
when I narrated the situation, told his sister behaved similar at times, advised to get inside home, and hung up citing busy when I kept blabbering. Well, it
made me think of friends vs parents. Many times thought to leave job and be safe in their
hands for ever. Thanks to the right attitude induced in me by Appa, Amma, school and colleges, later Neeraj and above all God's grace that kept me going,
growing and brought were I am today.
6 years later, a rainy
evening back in my parents’ home. I had become a wife and a mother then. All
were out leaving me and Noel in our beautiful world. We were playing and
suddenly power went off, can expect this anytime in Kerala when it rains badly.
Noel rushed into my hands and started weeping. I could realize
fears popping up within but couldn't pay any attention as I had to
pacify Noel. Time went by, making both of us uncomfortable. Soon lights flashed
and car came speeding into porch. It was Neeraj - Man of my life, decided
by God and handpicked by my father - rushing to help his wife and son. He gave
a comforting shout from outside, found the lamps, and was all in action to make
me and Noel comfortable. Later told that he went through a terrible evening,
but this dint keep him from rushing to us. Indian arranged marriage works
for people with right attitude.
2 years later, I am in this
beautiful European city Liege, also enjoying the privilege of being the only female Infoscion(most probably only Mallu too) in this French speaking area of
Belgium. Would like to call Liege a French Island due to personal reasons. I
sit in living room of my rented apartment, alone switching off most of the
lights except reading lamp. There is no room for fear because the worry of
electricity bill is way too higher, fully realizing the value of friends but don’t
want to waste money over phone calls and only rely on WhatsApp and Facebook. If
someone ask me how a lady can be alone and far from family, have this simple
answer - I am morally profound, courageous due to past experiences and
mistakes, above all deeply faithful to God for his tremendous mercy showered
upon me. Also I can proudly state have never tasted alcohol or smoked in life
so far.
I do have miles to go before
I sleep. My life goes on hoping for a better tomorrow from God, hoping my son
would be there to run to me when I am old and the old fears resurface .
